My husband and I have just celebrated our 23rd Wedding Anniversary. Many of our friends frequently ask us if we are still happy. Our mutual answer is “Yes”.
Would we do it all over again “Absolutely”! What is our secret? Well we are not really sure that it is such a secret, but we do know we have a high amount of Respect and Love for one another. We make it a point to let each other know that we appreciate the little things that each other does.
I thank my husband for starting dinner or changing the oil in the car. He thanks me for getting the lunches made, working on our business, picking up prescriptions etc– you get the point– we work on not taking each other for granted. We show our appreciation toward one another. Sometimes we even leave one another little notes in our lunch bags. ( I know it sounds corny-but it works for us) sometimes a little post-it note, with a message of “I love you, have a great day” is all we need to get though a rough day.
Prior to getting married we spent alot of time together (4 years) discussing and planning our future together. We became best friends and still are today. Do we ever get mad at each other or annoyed with one another ?- yes of course- but we work on not saying hurtful things to each other (again RESPECT). We are both very aware of how powerful words can be and how hurtful words can sometimes be. Does that mean we are always perfect in our communication style? heck no- (we are both Italian) hee hee..but it does mean that we know how to give each other alittle space when needed (again there’s that RESPECT).
Prior to our wedding, we attended a pre-marriage event through our church called “Engaged Encounters”. We learned so much more about one another through this weekend retreat and feel it set the foundation for a terrific commuication style in our marriage. At the retreat we learned how to ask each other the tough questions, like do you want kids someday? What are your feelings about our intimate life? How will we express our needs to each other ? What is your style of parenting, of discipline ? How are we going to manage our money? What are you views about money? Do you believe in Saving for our future? We also talked about “how to disagree”. We discussed different styles of communtication, conflict resoulution etc. The class was jammed packed with information and with important questions that all couples should spend time discusssing prior to making a lifetime committment of marriage.
Couples have to remember that “a wedding is a day”, and “a marriage is a lifetime“. Prior to making one of the most important decisions of your life, you really need to sit down with your partner and discuss some of the tough stuff-write down your answers so you can refer to them later. In our next couple of posts we will share some of those important questions that couples may want to consider asking to ensure they are ready for a lifetime committment. Couples have to not only plan for a perfect wedding day, but for a successful and happy marriage.
There is a saying that ” Those who fail to plan, plan to fail”. We encourage all couples to “Plan to Succeed” at your marriage and with your committment to one another.
More to come in future posts………….
a Happily married favor queen and her best friend and husband Rich
